Friday, January 7, 2011

LOLOLOL @ Lance Campeau

I was looking for a parts diagram of a Tomos A35 Kickstart motor over at tomosmopeds.org and found this hilarious gem as a sticky in the general forum. I will shoot myself in the face if Moped Army 2.0 looks anything like that UBB forum. Uuuuuuugh. It's like bizzaro moped army over there. Anyway, read this, and laugh at LC and people who just don't get mopeds.

Call me alarmist if you like but If you plan to increase the performance of your moped using a "Big Bore" kit, you need to consider the following...

-A larger displacement changes your motorbike classification. (From a moped to a motorcycle)
-If you fail to report this to the DMV and your insurance company, your insurance will become NULL AND VOID in the case of an accident causing injury or death.


*This means you will NOT be financially covered for medical expenses if you sustain a serious injury from crashing your moped.*


Here is a scenario of just how serious this could be...

It's a fine afternoon and you decide to put your new 80cc Metra kit to the test by hitting the throttle and blasting away down your street. After a few hundred yards your speed hits a whopping 47 MPH. At that moment, a boy steps out into the street without caution for danger. You see him but it's too late.... Thump... you fly off the bike. Your protective clothing allows you survive with non life threatening injuries. As you limp back to the scene, waiting for the police and ambulances to arrive, you see that your excessive speed has killed the small child who was only 6 years old.

You go into shock as the police arrive. After medical treatment, the police start asking questions (they already have statements from witnesses on the scene). The police officers are interested in your moped because, according to witnesses, you seemed to be going excessive fast for a motorbike that is only
supposed to have a standard displacement of 50cc. The bike has already been taken for evidence; it's now a criminal investigation.

It is already clear to the police that your bike has been modified. After a few days, you recover from your cuts and bruises only to find out that the police mechanic has uncovered the truth about your engine modifications. The insurance company is also interested in the police report. After looking over the evidence, your insurance provider denies your claim for any coverage. Their reason is simple...

-you signed a contract.
-When you illegally modified your engine, you broke the original contract.
-you then failed to update your policy to reflect the changes you made to your engine.
-because of these factors, your coverage is justifiably denied.

Your lack of judgment has just opened you up to a large civil suit not to mention that you have also taken a young life in the process.

Not smart....

So, with that information in mind... My ped project got started on the right track....

At this point Lance goes on to describe in painstaking detail how he increased his performance and speed with modified stock parts, WHICH ALSO MAKES HIS MOPED A MOTORCYCLE LEGALLY BY INCREASING HP AND MAKING IT GO FASTER THAN 30MPH, BUT AMAZINGLY HE HASN'T RUN OVER A 6 YEAR OLD CHILD YET. I can't wait for the video version of this.

7 comments:

spookytunee said...

Maybe its time for a Lance Campeau comic strip!

naz said...

I like that idea...

Graham Motzing said...

sounds like a good idea for our rally promo/teaser vid next year.

Clipstock said...

I heart Lance Campeau!!!

westseattleryan said...

I like how naive he is to the amount of making fun of him that is going on.

That being said, he is funny, but if I ever meet him, I will punch him in the gut and tell him to stop.

babieswithstaches said...

seriously... he reminds me how Out of touch people can be, and not know it..

which makes me worry about how out of touch I am, and not know it..

Yes on the comic strip.

lancecampeaumusic said...

I quote...

"I like how naive he is to the amount of making fun of him that is going on."

or how about this nugget of wisdom...

seriously... he reminds me how Out of touch people can be, and not know it..

After all we've been through... It would seem that you guys don't know me at all... sigh*